Seeing Red

So, yesterday I was feeling like a failure. I still had more than half of the New Year’s letters in envelopes sitting on my counter. I had had a war with the printer for days; it kept eating the pretty holiday paper I’d bought last year at Target on clearance after Christmas. I had had a war with the post office; they had somehow lost and then found my son’s birthday invitations that I had ordered from Shutterfly and belonged in several of the envelopes sitting on my counter. And I didn’t feel any closer to clearing things out of my house. I actually felt like more things were piling up.

This is a common theme for me. I feel like many times I attempt a project and then find that it gets pushed back so another task can get done or started or worked on. I guess that’s part of yoga…..things are always a process….things are always changing. This makes me think of goal setting. I use goal setting a lot with my clients and students. However, one of the keys of goal setting is to know when the goal needs to be altered. I tell my personal training clients that we’re going to stick with a goal for at least the first 4-6 weeks because most changes don’t occur until that time. However, my resolution has already been altered and it’s only been 7 days. I have added to it that I will try to do 33 of some exercise each day until I turn 34 and then do 34 of something each day for the rest of the year. I find that as a stay at home mom I have less and less time for myself and my fitness and more and more time spent on running kids to activities. So, this is my simple way of doing something for myself each day.

That brings me to the final part of today’s post. Yesterday, as I kept seeing those red envelopes staring me down as I cleaned up graham cracker crumbs from my kitchen floor and finished my “juicing projects” while the kids napped, I had several random questions floating through my head. Things like: People with large hands should not own a juicer unless they also have a dishwasher that will clean it well; and Why do apples overpower everything when I’m juicing? But, the most nagging question of all was: When did I become Mom and lose Me?

I think I will have to add a third part to my New Year’s resolution now. I will have to find out if the “Mama” call outweighs all other ambitions left to be attained. Oh, and by the way, yesterday my youngest started calling “My Mama” whenever he needed me and it did melt my heart.

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