We are buying a house….or attempting to buy one anyway. Our closing date is set for the end of this month and as the days approach I am getting very giddy about painting and rearranging our furniture into a set up different than the way it has been for the last almost 3 years that we’ve lived in our current house. However, as excited as I am, there is also a bit of dread that comes with a move.
Firstly I am worried for my children. I have a three year old who only ever remembers living here. While he has had two other residences prior to this home, this was the place we really became a family. It’s where he first crawled, walked, and had his first real illness. It’s where we’ve celebrated all of his birthdays and where he brought home his baby brother. Additionally, my 8 month old will be moving into his own room and I am not sure how he will adjust to sleeping without the sound of his dad snoring or me talking in my sleep.
Secondly I am sad for leaving this place that is full of so many memories. At this moment I am sitting here looking at the fireplace where my oldest face planted while playing with his daddy. I see the sliding glass door to the backyard where my youngest goes every morning to look outside. I know that outside are the steps where my big boy would sit and watch the squirrels when he first learned how to climb them. Out the window I see my neighbor’s fence and will miss her calling to us in the mornings when we go out for walks with our friends who live down the street. I will miss my training routes that I have mapped out and know just what time of day to take them and how hard to push myself at each turn. I will miss having those friends and neighbors to call on to borrow a bread pan or an egg or to play cards with on days we are “iced in”.
We are moving about 20 minutes away and we will be closer to our babysitter and some of our other friends and family that are in town, but we are moving away from our routine. Change is always a scary and exciting thing. It’s really about how we face it that defines which it is more of. In yoga we don’t try to change ourselves, our bodies, or our breath. Instead, we observe who we are, what we are, and how we are. We learn to accept this and to work with it. So, each day I will see how it feels to make this move, see how my children are, embrace the good, let go of the scary, and just keep breathing.