For any of you who are reading this, I’m sorry it’s been 15 days since my last post. I’ve had to take some time to think about life and to get my head on straight. Luckily my husband has agreed to start letting me run on the weekends with only one child…..so my head is clearing out again quickly.
Saturday was my first run since February 17th. I’m really sad about this because running brings me great joy and peace at the same time. This weekend I ran on both Saturday and Sunday and only had to take Eli with me. Granted he still weighs 26lbs and that doesn’t include the stroller, but it was nice to be able to move. I have never been grossly overweight, but I imagine what I felt to be something like what someone who loses a massive amount of weight feels when they first begin to move again. Maybe that sounded a little insensitive, but it was freeing and I hope that you’ve all experienced some sort of freeing venture at some point in your life.
I ran the same course both days, which is my regular walk course at the moment. I ran as far as I could with good form on Saturday and then walked the rest of the way home. It was also kind of nice to spend some time with JUST the little one as my walks are usually filled with the constant questioning of my 3 year old and very little babbling of my almost 11 month old. Sunday we repeated the same distance, but in a much slower time. I noticed that my legs were dragging more on Sunday. This was probably from a combination of the run on Saturday that caught my body by surprise; accompanied by the several hours of dancing I’d done at a wedding the night before. *Congrats Brad and Dana!*
During my Saturday run I let my mind try to decompress from all of the anger and tension it was holding. Since moving into our house my husband and I have butted heads a few more times than normal. I find my normally Zen self falling further and further from the calm and diving head first into unfamiliar rage. I would normally take deep breaths when this wave of red seems to be washing over me, but lately the breath is tight and restricted. It’s almost as if I quickly drown without the ability to keep my head up for air. Thank goodness for that run on Saturday as it let me loose for fun that night.
My Sunday run allowed me to look at the ground below my feet. It was hot black top and I felt every pounding searing step. I started to think about trying some barefoot running this summer….on the beach…when it’s cool. I thought about my class I’ll be teaching this fall and how to structure yoga for college students again. I’ve taught a yoga class at the college level once before, but I want to approach it in a fresh sense. I thought about the yoga manual I’ve been writing for NETA and all the different ways yoga has impacted my life. I tried to think less like a teacher and more like a yogi. My mind wandered and wondered about starting up a mom’s fitness group as my friend Brittany and I have discussed. The logical part of my brain was concerned with waivers and liability insurance while the rest of me was relishing the idea of leading a bunch of strong women on a journey to regain their fitness.
I love running because it can allow me to have so many experiences at once. I felt like I was getting healthier and stronger. I felt more connected to my little one by spending time with him. I felt more myself by letting go of the things that have been holding me down. I felt ambitious and accomplished. And most of all, I felt like ME again.
Sadly, part of feeling like me again is paying for the run later. I have congenital hip dysplasia, a condition in which children (usually a first born and more often female than male) are born with unstable hips due to the massive amounts of relaxin released into the mother’s system while pregnant and it’s effect on the developing ligaments and tendons in that area of the body. This means that after a run, when I am unconditioned, I feel radiating hip pain and discomfort through my piriformis, my hip socket, down my IT band, the lateral edges of my knee, and sometimes all the way through my anterior tibialis down to my ankle. This only occurs on my right leg, but is a pain (sometimes mostly in the butt) to deal with. So, if you’ve ever had this issue, you may know that one of the best yoga poses to combat the tightness of the piriformis and IT band and let out the tension is to do Pigeon.
This is a really cool image that shows the pose in both the easy version and the most involved through a double image.
So, for the next few days I will be Pigeoning to keep my hips and mind open. I encourage you to join me and let your mind loose. What brings you back to being yourself?