I am back home, again, but only until Thursday and then I’m gone….again. This is making working with the meditations less of a literal 365 day journey and more like a yearish of transformation. When last I left you I was dealing with letting go of pain and suffering. I stopped reading the book for this weekend to dwell on this a little more and to keep working with the pose I was attempting. Thanks to those of you who emailed me privately or commented on my last post. It just reaffirmed what I already knew in my heart, that I have the power and the strength to just let go of what could be and to love and accept my life for how it is. I am me because of the experiences that I have had in life and in loving who I am now, I love those experiences too. I have always thought that I needed some big apology from my dad to move forward and then we could work toward him being a part of my life again, but I don’t need to hear it from him and I’m not missing him in my new life. He is a part of my past that shaped who I am. I, like in my meditation, choose to keep the good and toss out the bad and live my life to the fullest. My kids, although still young, don’t ask where their other grandpa is and are happy for the one Papou they do have. My husband asks, from time to time, about him, but it’s of no consequence to me. I do not feel the brewing inside of me when I think of him today. No brewing anger, resentment, sense of loss. It’s a peaceful feeling of wholeness of myself, and emptiness of that suffering.
We spent the weekend at my in-laws so I could work another race for the timing company I have been with since my graduate program internship. Check them out for races in Eastern North Carolina at Run The East. We did a kids’ triathlon this weekend that I had worked the previous year as well. It was great fun to see the kids out there giving it their all. Some with fancy bikes borrowed from their parents and others with princess stickers on their helmets. It was a variety of age levels (5-17) and abilities/experience, but all of the kids were impressive to me. Their smiles as they crossed the finish line first place or last and celebrating getting a popsicle as an adult might a beer always make getting up at 530am worth it to me.
It rained on us at the race for a little bit and then off and on the rest of the weekend. I’m usually not bummed out too much by a rainy weekend, but it stresses me out at other peoples’ houses because of the fact that my kids become a handful. My husband had had surgery on Friday and was laid up for the weekend and with little to do, there were a lot of time outs. There’s also, as I’ve said before, no exercising and a lot of eating foods I wouldn’t normally have when I travel. I find it very easy to practice my yoga and meditation at home or even a hotel room, but not so much at family members’ houses. I feel like there is no good place to go to do it other than a living room and there I feel like I’m on display. The best part of practicing in the living room, though, is having my 3 1/2 year old copy my poses and “invent” his own that we need to try. I love that he has a great memory for most of the poses, but funny ones this weekend included The Tank (aka plank) and Crab (literally crab walking, not a yoga pose). I try to keep him doing the poses although his flexibility seems to be diminishing as he grows and is unable to sit still in the poses for a decent length of time right now. That will all change with age, I hope.
We also, like I said, ate a ton this weekend and tried out a new dessert recipe that I had found through Ambitious Kitchen for a no bake french silk pie. I’m just going to warn you right now…..don’t click the link below unless you have a lot of people to share this pie with because it is sinfully delicious and you will want to eat the whole thing yourself…..which I don’t encourage and was able to limit myself to one piece each of the two days that the pie existed at the house.
|Click here for the recipe|
So, it’s time to head back to the mat. What did you do for yourself this weekend that made you happy? What did you do for others?