My yoga students have been asked to meditate on “Appreciation” during these past few weeks. I would really like to find the time to spend on this exercise myself. I am packing today for my annual trip home during the holidays. This year I will be driving the two boys myself, so everyone around me is telling me how brave I am….that or how insane….you choose. The thing is, the trip doesn’t worry me or stress me out, but life in general has of late. I’m trying hard to keep it all together, but I have been very short tempered of late with my kids.
I just commented on a post today over at mylittletablespoon that reminded me that I wanted to write about this topic this week. Many of us will sit down to a meal with friends or family this week and will share something we’re thankful for….we will make Thanksgiving. But, for me, I have found that I need something more.
I need to be more open-hearted.
- I need to remember what it was like to be a new mom of one and how much I loved that little boy when I looked into his eyes.
- I need to remember that feeling of him needing me and only me to make everything right in his world.
- I need to remember that now, at almost 5, he still needs that from me while he tries to grown and learn and explore the world around him.
- I need to remember that my baby at 2.5 is also becoming more independent and that that is something I want for the both of them.
- I need to remember that when they challenge me, it is not out of disrespect, but out of a will to have control of their own life…..the same will that we search for as adults.
- I need to look at my children with eyes of love and not through red.
- I need to turn down the shark music.
- I need to appreciate and honor all of the unique qualities that makes them them.
- I need to show them the kind of love that I did the day they were born.
I think that, sometimes, remembering who you were when you were happiest with someone can make you appreciate your life more. My kids may be willful and stubborn, but that’s because they’re also smart and independent…..they are many parts of me that I haven’t learned to accept in others. They challenge me daily to be a better person and I love them. They are the one thing in my life that I am most grateful for and I am happy that each day (no matter what happened before) I have the opportunity to wake up and start anew with them. A chance to try again to love them to the fullest and to truly revere our relationship.
If you were to meditate on appreciation…what would you learn about yourself?