I was out for a run on Saturday morning. It was the second week of my early morning runs and Truffle Shuffle was playing a little RHCP for me. At first “Can’t Stop” was pushing me because of the beat and the fact that it kept telling me I Can’t Stop! However, when it got to the last line in the song, “This life is more than just a read-through“, I immediately hit replay. Why? I needed to hear that part again….and again….
I played the song 3 times before I reached the end of my run. My run had felt like I had lead legs. I knew that it was early and Saturday and that there was no good reason to be up running other than I’m trying to get this going, but something hit me hard about that line.
This life is more than just a read-through
I came home and decided that I was going to try and meditate on that idea. The idea of life needing to happen now, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t meditate as I have in the past. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed. I couldn’t shut down. Perhaps it was because I’d just finished running, but more so because there was just so much rushing through me at that moment that I couldn’t get the clarity I needed.
Why were these lyrics touching me so powerfully at this moment?
All I can say for sure, at this moment, is that it’s almost the end of the year. I hope I’m not leaving anything in my life unfinished. It’s not very “yoga of me”, but it’s sometimes hard to let go of what I’ve not done and live in the what I’ve accomplished mode. Often times in my life I come to the end of something and then find myself filled with great regret of all that I didn’t do. In high school it was working harder at school. I was a smart girl and I could get by without doing a whole lot of studying or busy work. But, high school is a lot of busy work and not just exams…..the same went for the beginning of college.
There have been jobs I’ve held where I didn’t give my all and relationships that I held back in. I have had races that I didn’t fully prepare for. I am not always “living up to my full potential”, a phrase I’ve heard more than once in my life. So, I’m not sure if there is anything deeper to this sentence right now, but I do know it’s the end of the year and things are milling in my head. This might just be a kick to bring me deeper into the present…after all, it is a gift!
What have you accomplished in 2015?