Afraid of the Dark

I’m becoming a morning exerciser, but that doesn’t keep me from being afraid of the dark….

An ongoing issue of my life has been an overactive imagination when it comes to the dark. I remember being afraid of the Sandman and believing that there was a viscious wild cat that lived on our stairs to the attic that would run down and attack me if I stepped onto the carpet in the hallway between my bedroom and the bathroom in the middle of the night. I remember getting lost in the bathroom at a campground in the night because I couldn’t decipher which tent was our on the way out and crying there until my mom came and found me….we were like 10 feet away.

I don’t know what it is about the dark that takes hold of me sometimes? Especially because I love to sleep in a very dark room. I’m kind of a night owl too, and I’m not sure if that’s because I’m secretly afraid of the dark? However, these morning runs have been the worst for that active imagination. It doesn’t help that I am still wearing my old, beat up glasses to run in. They have cracks that make things “move” and they’re not the right prescription so things sometime are out of focus far away. I often see shadows and people that aren’t there. It’s the kind of thing that the music helps me tune out, but also pushes me a little harder and faster.

Fear is something that’s held me back in a lot of ways too. And each time I think about this yoga reading by Kathleen O’Brien

Let Go

Let go of guilt,

It’s okay to make the same mistakes again.

Let go of obsessions,

They seldom turn out the way you planned.

Let go of hate,

It’s a waste of Love.

Let go of blaming others,

You are responsible for your own destiny.

Let go of fantasies

So reality can come true.

Let go of self-pity,

Someone else may need you.

Let go of wanting,

Cherish what you have.

Let go of fear,

It’s a waste of Faith.

Let go of despair,

Change comes from acceptance and forgiveness.

Let go of the past,

The future is here, right now.

This morning I was struggling to figure out which thing to focus on for my 30 days post, but then Aqua came on and reminded me….

Give me the strength, to face this test of mine

So, Day Three of my 30 days is to face my fears this year. I don’t want them to hold me back any longer and I don’t want to give them power.

What are you afraid of?

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2 thoughts on “Afraid of the Dark

  1. So good that you are running and leading a yoga life! I like the reading you shared. I am afraid of being underwater. It is unfortunate because my husband would really love it if I were to go scuba diving with him but I can hardly snorkel much less scuba dive. I guess I’d rather look at pictures of sea creatures anyway because I am also deathly afraid of sharks!

    Like

    1. AL

      Hi Jenny! Thanks for stopping by! My first husband’s family went to Bon Aire every year to go scuba diving. We were married 7 years and never went because I didn’t want to wear the full body wetsuit to go down deep under the water. I have a thing about being restricted and am a little claustrophobic. I always wanted to try snorkeling, but it was a scuba only vacation. Have you seen the video of the woman talking about why it’s okay for sharks to attack because we’re in their home? It gets me laughing every time! I think that’s a very valid fear!

      Like

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