Can you be unconditional with yourself? What a question….
A couple of weeks ago my hubby and I binge watched (well an episode or two a night for awhile) the second season of Frankie and Grace. In one of the final episodes of the season Grace (played by Jane Fonda) asks her daughter if she felt unconditional love when she was growing up. The response was NO. But, the daughter says, it kind of makes sense….because you’re not very unconditional with yourself.
That stung on so many levels. Can we be truly unconditional with others if we’re not unconditional with ourselves? I posed that question to my yoga class this morning and it brought on a great discussion. One student said yes because it’s easier to overlook others’ faluts. That’s very yoga of her…..but it’s even more yoga to love yourself fully and love others the same.
My opinion? I’d like to think YES, because of the fact that I love my children, even when they’re driving me bonkers. They’re not perfect and I don’t expect them to be. I know I have high expectations in life and it’s something that I’m working on this year as part of my self study and something I will always have to work on. I shared this post last week and it really spoke to me and gave me the sense that I could be a little more unconditional with myself.
Things that I am probably too conditional with myself about:
- How many things I get done each day
- How often I workout
- How well my workouts go
- How far I run and how fast
- How I dress
- How my skin looks
- How involved I am (or am not) with my extended family
- My education level
- My work position
- My ability to teach choreographed group fitness classes
The list could probably go on a lot longer. The truth is, that although I try really hard, there are probably a million times each day that I’m thinking I could do more or better. I’m not being as unconditional with myself as I am with my kids. I always tell them that we can turn the day around; that we can make it better; that we can choose to forget the bad that’s happened and move forward to more fun. Wouldn’t it be nice if that were true of ourselves?
I learned a lot in Learned Optimism and The End of Overeating that I’m trying to put into practice with the way I treat/look at/judge myself worthy. I think that this is a journey that we all have ahead of us daily. What would life look like if we could be truly unconditional with ourselves?
Thanks to Amanda for the space to unload on this TOLT!