I’m sitting here for my 30 minutes of scheduled writing time from Monday because….
Well, because of lots of excuses I could list here, but instead I’m not going to. I’m going to be here and write, because it’s something I love to do and I’ve missed it the last few days. I have things I want to say and things I’m feeling inside that are welling up and pushing out in every direction. I’m angry and frustrated in one sense and happy and accomplished in another.
So, because it’s only really yoga of me to focus on the present, let’s start there. I’m here sitting for my writing time because it’s important to me. Other things that are important to me are getting myself clear of both the emotional and physical clutter in my life (something I’ll write more about when I get to my next Meditation Monday post). So, I’m back to using my calendar and crossing off my lists as I go. A long time ago I was “banned” from using lists because they went to a bad place for me. The lists became so long and insurmountable that I drown in the thoughts of them. I stopped sleeping because my mind was racing about what else needed to go on the list. Now, my lists are more contained and with the help of a timer and the pomodoros….I’m just living more in the present. What can I reasonably do…one task at a time…in this 30 minutes?
My calendar is still behind, but I’m catching up. My meditations are helping me to see what’s most important to put on the schedule and what to leave off. My yoga outlook on life has helped me to see that an unfinished task is okay for the time being. And looking at things in the present tense, without limiting or harshly definitive terms, has helped me to be more accepting of myself and others. Just last night I looked in the mirror at myself before my shower and thought, this is my body. It doesn’t currently look like it used to.
Many women look at their bodies and say things like, I’ll never be that thin again, but last night I just took note of it as it is right now. Right now is a strong thing to consider. Right now is fleeting and therefore, thoughts, emotions, and even looks are also fleeting in the moment. This moment I smile and the next I do not. This moment I am happy but the next I am not. This moment I have it all and soon it is all gone. Or, the reverse….this moment I have nothing, but some day I will have it all. It’s all about perspective and mine is an open one at this time. And I’m curious
What are you doing that is being in the present? Being purposeful? Being proud? Being political?