In her first book on happiness Gretchen Rubin writes about “Being Gretchen” as one of her personal commandments. It’s something that I have always been driven to be….authentically me. Today authentically me feels like someone who yells a lot….both to be heard and out of frustration (and sometimes a combination of the both).
In Better Than Before Rubin writes about going deeper than the Four Tendencies framework and thinking about how to better define the self. These are the distinctions that make us not like all others, but like some. Kind of how I sort my laundry at the end of each day…..some things I would wear again before washing (like hoodies) and things that definitely need to be washed before they touch me again (like socks I ran in). The world is a little simpler (and sometimes so are we) if we can define ourselves in one of two groups.
Here are the questions she poses:
- Early riser or night owl?
- Marathoner, sprinter, or procrastinator?
- Overbuyer or underbuyer?
- Simplicity or abundance?
- Finisher or opener?
- Familiarity or novelty?
- Promotion or prevention?
- Small or big steps?
Today I’m going to start with just a few of these and I hope that you’ll consider them as well and share your thoughts on where you fall in these groups.
The first one that stuck out to me is the overbuyer vs. underbuyer. I am most definitely an underbuyer which you can read about in my post “How Many Do You REALLY Need?” This is a constant source of pain in my life. I find that most people I know are always spending money or looking for more STUFF! I just can’t stand the stuff. I feel like holding on to sentimental items clutters my life enough that I just don’t have room for more things that I won’t use.
I have moved many times in my life. I am still in my 6th state, but this is the 3rd city I’ve lived in in this state. This is the 3rd residence I’ve had in this city. And each time I move I look for what more I can give up without actually wanting to get more. The funny thing is that my houses keep getting bigger…..
I guess that would make me also somewhat of a simplicity lover over an abundance lover. I do like things simple. That’s probably part of what has drawn me deeper and deeper into the practice of yoga over the years. It’s simple: be kind and good and that is enough. However, I love the feeling of abundance when it means that I am surrounded by friends and laughter. I used to think that most people felt that way, but I’ve met a large number of people who prefer time alone. I get it. It can be nice to have the quiet, but I wouldn’t change my rambunctious boys for a quiet house….ever! Even when they’re driving me up the wall and asking for more stuff! 😉
So, what do these things tell me about myself and why is it important to decide? I think that knowing myself in this way will lead to more happiness in my life. I like a small, uncluttered space, filled to the brim with friends and family. That is my ideal life. The question will always be….is that reality?
Please share a few of your thoughts and join me tomorrow as I talk about a couple more of these distinctions.