I think my computer is trying to tell me something…..the message on a picture of puffins was
Be Great at What You Do
Perhaps it knows that I’m thinking of getting rid of it?
Well, today’s post is going to be a little rambly…..it is Monday after all.
What’d you do with your weekend?
I spent my Saturday digging up plants and replanting them in places they weren’t before. I bought a lot of new plants (not nearly enough) and put them into the flower beds as well. I worked hard with my body and my hands in the dirt. It felt AMAZING!
Sunday was a little more low key. We went to a movie and then I spent the rest of the day attempting to (and finally successfully) apply for a job…..a full-time job. It was mentally challenging in a way that I haven’t been challenged in a long while. The computer was running slow and I had to find and update my CV, write a new cover letter, and create a new list of references. I had to learn the new rules for these things and make everything look good and appealing. I don’t know that I have it in me to apply for another job any time soon.
I had little to no time (read didn’t make time) to read this weekend. But I’m very close to finishing Rubin’s book and will probably have the final recap on that tomorrow. What I did read recently is about Rewards, Treats, and Pairing and I learned a lot more about my Obliger nature. This is just making me want to read her newest book: The Four Tendencies, but it’s down there on my reading list at the moment.
REWARDS – A lot of questions…
Rewards are often linked to the end of something and for me that is part of my personal need for challenges. I’m a finisher by nature, but it also means that when something is over; what comes next?
Currently I’m working on building up to complete 108 consecutive sun salutations. I did 26 this morning. They were painful and mentally challenging. I did feel energized after and strong and my arms hurt in a way that they haven’t in awhile (probably also due to the gardening). But, when I do 108, what comes next? Will this reinforce a regular habit of practicing yoga? How should I reward myself for completing the task? Is it over then or do I keep going?
I did my 8k race at the beginning of September and found myself high on the excitement of what I’d accomplished. Then, I found myself floundering because I had nothing I was working toward. My friend and I were still supposed to meet and run and run on our own as well……but why? I need a strategy of picking the next race before the one I’m training for happens. I need to get more habit-minded instead of goal-minded.
I applied for a job this weekend (more on that in the future). Would getting the job be the reward? An interview? Or is confirmation of the submission enough to feel satisfied? Yesterday’s word of the day was ENCOURAGE; I had to keep encouraging myself that I was making the right decision, that I was doing a great job, that I deserved to apply for this job. Today’s word of the day is HOPE; I have to remind myself to be hopeful that the outcome of this application is what is meant to be…..and that I probably should be hoping that I get the job.
Rewards are a tricky thing for me…..but not as tricky as
TREATS – A slippery slope….
I have been trying to be more carefree in life (not my nature) and less demanding. So, this weekend I heard the ice cream truck coming and decided to treat the kids. We also went to a movie, just because. Usually these things are “earned” at our house. They’re usually rewards instead of treats.
What kinds of things are treats for me? Reading, because it never happens undistracted. Blogging, because it is a chance for me to share and write. Planting, because I love to work with my hands, smell and see beautiful things, and feel accomplished and connected when I grow life. Running with a friend, because it connects me to two things I like.
One treat I’d like to maintain is the pedicure I got. I used to get them regularly when I had a full-time job and this new job may make it feasible, but I fear that some of my other treats will disappear. That’s the thing about treats…..they have an immediate impact and also one that lingers. Rubin warns against treats that may impact our children as they become adults (the ice cream and movies).
Treats also lose their value when they’re done too often. I go to Starbucks to grab an Iced Tea Lemonade (Passion Tango) from time to time. It always tastes great to me, but when I bought some of the tea to brew at home it wasn’t as good to me. It became boring and not so much a treat. For me a treat means that I have to spend out….it’s hard for me to spend out (underbuyer) and therefore, it’s hard for me to treat myself.
The best treats for me come in the form of
PAIRING – The best of both worlds…..
Like my runs with T. My kids get their play date (for them); I get to exercise and socialize (for me). I think it’s important for me to pair treats and rewards with things I need to do so that I find time to treat and reward myself.
….it’s important for Obligers to have treats. They’re susceptible to burnout, and too many moments of self-deprivation, or too much work for the benefit of others, may lead them to feel resentful, neglected, or deprived. (p.205)
I just have to remember, that in this endeavor and all others, I need to remain me and Be Great at What I Do.
How about you?
Thoughts on Rewards, Treats, and Pairings of your own?