This is the second week that I’m trying Word of the Day as Word of the Week. Last week was Play and I had to remind myself that Play was not permission to not do the things I needed to do. This week’s word is more of a challenge:
I read a post at Fit is a Feminist Issue awhile that prompted me to add the word Struggle to my word of the day list. And beside it I wrote:
Push through the shit you normally take pains to avoid
I cannot remember if this is a definition I found somewhere or if it’s what I felt at that moment reading the piece and thinking of the word struggle. All I know is that I’ve been looking forward to this word.
Oddly enough, yesterday when I went to do my 68 Sun Salutations I found myself in a struggle to finish. Each one was harder than anticipated. My body and my mind were giving out faster than usual. And, at one point I felt like I should quit my pursuit all together. I mean, no one is keeping track of whether I finish or not….not yet at least. And then I kept moving. I kept doing it, no matter how slow or terrible it was….I just kept moving forward…..Inhale up, Exhale fold, Inhale Lunge, Exhale Down Dog….remembering to Breathe, although not perfectly.
As I got toward the end I cheated myself out of the struggle by allowing E to do the last one with me. And then, I read Gates yesterday and it reminded me that the struggle is real….only if I allow it to be.
Why do we avoid certain things in life? Challenge? Confrontation? Change?
I think struggle (and my definition of it) is the perfect word for me at this time in my life. I need to keep trying.
Have a word for me? Share it in the comments below!