Last week I asked you to get up and move to be well. This week we’re on to the second dimension of Wellness: SELF RESPONSIBILITY and LOVE. What does it mean to be responsible and have self love?
That’s a loaded question to some people. To some it seems selfish to take so much time for yourself, but self-care is essential to happiness and wellness.
How do I do it?
Let’s consider these as two separate, but interwoven, areas.
When it’s time to make choices in your life do you ever shift the responsibility? Have you ever gone off of the advice of an “expert” instead of trusting yourself to make the right decision? Once you do make a decision, how do you deal with the consequences of the outcome of that decision? If they’re positive do you embrace the self-love that comes with being so wise? If they’re negative do you fall into a pit of self-loathing?
Responsibility often gets confused with the words guilt and blame. Even little kids are told to take responsibility for their actions (usually the bad ones). However, responsibility and accountability are about taking control of your life and showing yourself loving kindness.
So many people in our world think negatively about self-care and self-love. We are taught to be bravely independent. However, loving the self is part of an increased consciousness, increased accountability, and an increased interdependence. This practice of loving kindness is about accepting outcomes, but moving forward. It’s about a different way of looking at yourself and realizing that “I am NOT this moment” in times where we make mistakes.
I Am A Glorious Series of Contradictions
For me, Self Love and Responsibility have been about knowing that it’s okay to be out of balance from time to time; to share that experience with others being vulnerable and in need. It’s been about increasing that interdependence and asking for help from time to time. It’s about accepting life without expectation of outcome and accepting the outcome of my decisions when they reveal themselves. It’s about learning that giving only to others doesn’t fulfill all that I need, but it does complete me.
I am making more time for self-care as I and my children get older. I do it through physical activity, meditation, getting more sleep, journaling, making time to read more, and trying to make sure the world I surround myself with fits my model of self love. I am trying to learn more about how to be accountable and accepting of my choices as well as how to learn from the ones that didn’t serve me. I am growing more assertive and responsible for my ultimate outcome in life. And I’m trying to be more kind to myself by letting go of some outcomes.
What is your best self-care technique?