Wellness Wednesday #15 – We Need to Talk

Is there anything more dreaded to hear in a relationship than, “We need to talk”? It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is, but those four words almost never lead to something good. Today we’re going to touch on the Intimacy Dimension of Wellness. It’s all about relationships of any kind.Interdependence

In yoga we teach that true strength comes from interdependence over independence. No one can get anywhere in life without others. So many of us are taught the exact opposite. We’re taught to be independent, but not in the right way. Yes, it’s important to be able to take care of yourself, speak up for yourself, take responsibility for yourself and your actions, live your truth. However, it’s also important to lean on others and to let others lean on you. It’s important to care for others and to interact with others and to speak-up for others who cannot speak up for themselves. Yoga is a word that means unity and connection and it’s more than just binding the mind and the body; it’s about binding ourselves together, to each other.

Relationships are HARD

While it is very important that we have relationships, they’re all complicated. It’s complicated to be an instructor. I need to get to know my students and let them get to know me, but keep a professional boundary. It’s complicated as a parent. I have to set boundaries and protect them and be the parent, but also show love and trust and teach them. It’s hard not to want to be their friend, but then you have to be their boss as well. It’s complicated as a child as your parents get older; it’s complicated to be a sibling. Family dynamics are difficult in all directions. It’s complicated to be married or divorced or single or….


I feel really old when I write this, but technology sucks. I mean, sure it’s made it so many more people can communicate and new relationships can be formed. Heck, to tell the truth, I met my husband online. However, technology also ruins relationships. Technology causes miscommunication and people to disengage. We’ve created new ways for people to be harmful to others and deceitful.

I was watching Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Lab on Netflix the other night (and no, I don’t buy into all of her ideals, but I was curious). There was an activity during one episode in which people just stared into each other’s left eye. I thought to myself about the last time I really made eye contact with another human being; just looked into their eyes. I am going to guess that it was when my niece was a baby. That’s the kind of thing we do with vulnerable people who don’t make us feel judged.

Technology has taken away intimacy and relationships in a variety of ways. I don’t mean this to sound like a tirade on technology, but I want to you to consider how your relationships are enhanced or depleted by technology?


Finally, there’s the blog. I should be so grateful for this blog and a way to reach out to others, but yet it’s another barrier to real interdependence and relationships. Through the use of my blog I have enhanced teaching content, but failed to make any real connections. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe I’m old fashioned. Maybe I just really in need to some connection today.

What ever the reason, I want you to look away for today…..

Look at someone next to you. Say hello. Connect. Call a friend. Hold a hand. Lean in to a relationship you have right now. We need each other more than we know….


How do you view the relationships in your life right now?

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