Today I weighed myself for the second time in 2021. The first time was at the end of January when I first went to campus to teach. I told a colleague that day that I weighed 160lbs. I was embarrassed to tell her that, not because of the number itself, but mostly because I was putting so much weight into the number.
My colleague politely reminded me that the number doesn’t matter so much as other things….things I know and write about often. But, still I stood there feeling out of sorts for both the number and telling her. I also told her that one of those “other things” is how your clothes feel and that mine were FAR TOO TIGHT at that moment. There was no hiding it….I had gained a lot of weight (for me) in the past year and I was not comfortable with that mentally, physically, or emotionally.
Back in November I had decided to slowly take back my life and my fitness. I had started streaking. I now have an (after today) 82 day Yoga streak, a 52 day Run streak, and I have done 10 days of Pilates this year. (I also have some mediation streaks going, but that’s a slightly different story.) I am doing this because I also want to hit a healthy weight for me….and by healthy I mean comfortable to my mental, physical, and emotional health.
I wrote about weight and aging last January. Coming from a family full of obesity and health problems, this is a real concern of mine not from a beauty or outward appearances standpoint. I am genuinely concerned about the make-up of my body and how long it will last.
So, what’s the point of all of this? I am not on a diet. I am not trying to get back to the way I looked when I was in my 20’s or 30’s. The point is that I am very mindful of what is going on with me right now and I am doing things to make sure that I am well.
I weighed myself today for the second time this year. I was 157lbs. That is 3lbs less than last month. That is one month more of movement, one month more of mindfulness, one month more of life that I have had. When I weigh myself, I do not come up wanting; I am found to be content.