In the Day 81 Reading Gates writes
….we always have everything we need. When we fail to believe this, we suffer. (p.109)
How many times have I looked inward for the answer, seen it, and still kept searching? External validation doesn’t equal internal happiness…yet, it’s a hard cycle to break.
Today when I was doing my 68 Sun Salutations (more about why I’m not further along on Thursday) I asked my youngest to help me finish them out….because doing them with someone else somehow makes them easier to finish. I suffered and struggled through the first 67 and there it was…ease on number 68 with his little arms and legs moving beside me.
But, I need to listen better to myself because I am sure there are signs that I’m ignoring. This takes discipline….tapas
Are you still stuck in the cycle of seeking answers outside of yourself?
Do you know that the end to your suffering is within you?
What is always easier for you to do with someone else?
A short post for you today on Tapas….
In the Day 80 Reading Gates writes
The desire that is tapas comes from wanting…a place of lack…yet yoga is about detaching from the outcome (paraphrased p.106)
So, through the practice of yoga we become whole and fill the internal hole.
Sometimes, in my life, there is a disconnect between what I want and what I have…I am always faced with the question of
Can I get what I want or can I be content with what I have?
The answer still hasn’t come to me in all situations, so still I ask.
Desire, ask, believe, receive.
Stella Terrill Mann
In the Day 78 reading Gates writes about being emboldened to try new things, but knowing that someone is there if we fail….someone to lean on and support us….like our yoga teachers.
I wonder, with all of the new things I’m trying to accomplish in my life with habits, can I be there for myself if I fail? In what ways can I pick myself up again? Do I embrace myself with an unconditional heart?
This is a topic I’ve written about before.
Saturday I didn’t do my Sun Salutations. I just kept putting them off all day until the day was over. I thought about getting out of bed and doing them, but I let myself not. Sunday I picked up where I left off and now I have 1 day to “make-up”. So far, my attempt to create habits and discipline….Tapas….in my life also means that I need to discipline myself to love myself despite my stumbles.