I’ve been away from the blog for yet another week of trying to make decisions and get through the day. I feel this ever looming presence of a need to reflect and take inventory that keeps me from moving forward as I’d like to. So, to combat that heavy feeling, I’ve decided to scale back on a lot of my goals. The best part of this decision is that it makes me feel confident in what I can achieve and not like I’ve hit yet another set back.
Happy Thursday to All! Three weeks from tomorrow I start back teaching at CFCC and I can’t wait! Summer has been great, but I’m looking forward to meeting new students and serving another purpose (other than lunch maker, playdate scheduler, and shuttle bus) on the regular. I LOVE being at home with my kids, but I also got a Masters degree so that I could use it.
Anyway, today I’m linking up with Amanda at Running With Spoons for another of her infamous TOLT posts. So, check out her site and all of the other great posts you’ll find there today on the link up.
My running has been going well lately, but this Friday morning I’m taking a shorter run because I’m traveling for NETA this weekend. If you’re needed to get PT certified, there’s still time to sign up! Come join me at the Stokes YMCA in King, NC.
Today I’m traveling up to Winston-Salem via Red Oak Brewery. We snagged a few brewery tour passes and I’ll write about that adventure when I get back. For now, enjoy your weekend, keep breathing and look for more great stuff to read on Monday!
Yesterday morning I went for my training run and decided to list the commentary inside my head for you here.
Why is it so hot and humid at 645am?
Running in glasses really bothers me, but I can’t afford contacts every day.
I ran in the same clothes I wore to bed….they are a little small.
My shirt keeps rolling up and exposing my stomach; I’ll tuck it in to the shorts and just live.
My shorts are too short and my thighs are rubbing together.
Am I going for time or distance today?
What was the dead thing in the road just then?
I’m ahead of a 10 min/mile pace.
I can’t breathe regularly.
My shoes are getting old.
Please stop looking at me while I run.
We really need a crosswalk at this stop light.
Did I hit the lap button or the stop button just then?
Shadow girl, I will never catch you!
I should write a post about this.
Don’t forget the thing about the obliques.
Why do black racerback tanks make you look flat chested? Does it matter?
What will I need to stretch when I get back inside?
How will I fit in a 9 mile run before my husband goes to work without having to get up at 5am?
My recovery is always so quick….
I am bored with the music on Truffle Shuffle.
There were several times during this run that my body image came into play, especially at the start of the run. I am worried about how people driving by will think of me when they see me flapping in the wind. What if my stomach or my thighs show? Why do these thoughts come into mind? Because I’m still holding on to this image of me as a high school cross country runner. When I could freely and comfortably run in a sports bra and short shorts and feel confident. I am a better runner now than I was then. I am better about training, doing other things than running, and also about stretching and eating well. But now, more than ever in my adult years, I am self conscious as I run.
My body is an amazing thing and gives me so many wonderful gifts in life to move, to work, to hold my children. I need to remember that the worst critic on my body is myself and that my runs are supposed to be that judgement free zone.
I didn’t write a post for yesterday mostly because I was having a great weekend. I spent time with my family, worked in the yard, went shopping for a new plant, and cooked chicken pot pie (including crusts) from scratch. I wasn’t feeling down at all…..well, mostly. Continue reading “The Ups and Downs of Flashingback”→
Throughout this period of feeling a little off, yoga has been my saving grace. Here are a list (in true TOLT style) of ways in which yoga is keeping me together.
When all else fails, I still have to go to work and Yoga. Yoga is my work and when I’m not doing any other fitness training, I’m still going in and teaching each week. It gives the gift of fitness to my students, but also forces me to practice.
Yoga has kept me in the game. Since moving to Wilmington in 2011 I’ve mostly had yoga jobs. This is crazy in a sense because yoga is not where I started in the fitness industry and is not even the thing I am best at, but it’s kept me working and kept me connected to fitness.
Yoga makes me read. I’m reading a book right now entitled Yoga for Business that I’m not really enjoying, but is for a project I’m working on with NETA. Many of my NETA projects and my work at CFCC have kept me reading on the topic of yoga and that has kept me reading in general. There was a period of time after I moved in with my husband that I wasn’t reading because it used to be a before bed practice for me pre-kids. Then that time was reallocated to be spent with my husband and I lost my reading time. Now it’s back at a newly scheduled interval, and not just for work.
Yoga reminds me…..I could finish this sentence in a few different ways. Yoga reminds me to be present in the moment and not always worry about the future or regret the past. Yoga reminds me to enjoy time with my kids and helps me to cultivate patience for the way kids are. Yoga allows me time to think during meditation and to take a new perspective on life each time I leave the mat. Yoga reminds me to take care of myself: mind, body, and soul. Yoga reminds me that we are all one and all share something inside of us that is innately human.
And…..lastly……yoga connects me. It connects me to new people, new opportunities, new ways of thinking, and also to myself, my family, and my friends. It’s a gift I give myself each day that I get on the mat or sit down and breathe or close my eyes and meditate. It’s a gift I give my students weekly and it’s a good chunk of the reason I started writing this blog. Yoga has connected me to a few new spaces online and for that I am grateful.
Yoga is saving me during this down time in my life……
I taught a class this morning and because of that experience I open my eyes more fully to greet the day ahead.
Can you be unconditional with yourself? What a question….
A couple of weeks ago my hubby and I binge watched (well an episode or two a night for awhile) the second season of Frankie and Grace. In one of the final episodes of the season Grace (played by Jane Fonda) asks her daughter if she felt unconditional love when she was growing up. The response was NO. But, the daughter says, it kind of makes sense….because you’re not very unconditional with yourself.
Dhyana is the seventh step in the 8 limb path of yoga and is considered the penultimate practice of yoga. Dhyana is meditation.
Meditation is a tricky thing and all of the exercises that I’ve asked you to do in this series so far with Mindfulness and Concentration have all been practice for meditation. In the traditional sense meditation requires that you sit still, breathe, and keep your mind on one predetermined focus.
What do you do when thoughts come into your head? Well, you sort them. You keep the thoughts that promote your meditation topic and discard the ones that do not.
How do I know which thoughts to keep and which to discard? We’ll get more into that next week when we discuss enlightenment, but for now you need to determine what the goal of your meditation is and that will help you decide what to keep and what to eliminate.
At the beginning of April I had this serious stack of books that I was going to read and have just finally finished the first one in the pile. Not because it wasn’t a good read; I just hadn’t been devoting enough time to reading or at least to book reading. The first book I finished in the pile was
Learned Optimism by Martin E. Seligman and it probably could be found under self-help, psychology, and yoga in the library because it ties in nicely to a lot of the principles of yoga we’ll be discussing on Meditation Mondays in June.
Friday I cleaned the shower, did all the laundry, and changed the sheets on our bed. Normally when I do something like this I will then take the time to show my husband all that I accomplished during the day. I will seek out the recognition for a job well done and the reward of praise for hard work that comes from another. This week, I didn’t. I instead, sat back and just let it be. I felt fulfilled in the knowledge of what I had done and how accomplished I felt…..on my own.
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