TOLT – 1 Week Until Preschool!

Today is Thursday and I’m not having to get up and go to work for the first time in many weeks. But it also means that it’s the last Thursday, for awhile at least, that I could have slept in…..because next week my baby starts preschool! And, in the words of Peg Plus Cat, I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!

Thank you, in advance, to Amanda for a place to vent my worries.


  1. The Goodbye – When my first son went to school two years ago, he walked right in and I had to call him back to say good-bye to the little guy and me. This time around it will be the big one and I dropping off the little one on the first day. I’m not quite sure how this will go. Part of me wants him to be hesitant and still need me. Part of me wants him to be brave like his brother and waltz right in like he knows the place.
  2. What to do with Kid #1 – So, on the first day of preschool my oldest son will still be 12 days away from starting school for the year. So, it’s kind of new territory for us. There was just the two of us before the little guy came along, but since then I can’t think of another time in which it’s been just the two of us (unless you count volunteering at his school). So, what will we do with our time together? I HAVE NO CLUE! We have had lots of little moments together, but never 3 whole hours of us time in the last 4 years. I’m thinking I might take him to show him my new work as it’s right across the street. We might go out to breakfast. We might just go crazy….who knows?!
  3. More Friends – Okay, so this really shouldn’t be a worry, but I’ve already found that this summer was harder than any other before to make sure we had at least one play date with each of our friends. Why? Because now we have the friends we made prior to school, the friends from preschool that we’ve held on to, and now kindergarten friends. That doesn’t even account for the friends we’re about to make this year for both kids! I already know one of the families in the preschool class and we like them and have mutual friends, but there’s a reason we throw a large party a few times a year….we don’t have enough time for all of the friends!
  4. No Nanny – Yep, she left us and graduated and moved home and got married and is a grown-up with a full-time job now. The last two years have been a breeze because of our nanny and I can tell you it was the best experience we’ve ever had in childcare. So great, in fact, that I can’t seem to find anyone who lives up to her! And now we’re going to try and do it all on our own without her or anyone else. Already I’m dreading it. What will happen when one of the kids gets sick? Who will be there to help out in emergencies? What about when I need someone to set out something to defrost during the day? Who will eat all of the leftovers?! Really, our nanny was like a part of our family and we miss her dearly!
  5. The End – There will be no more kids at home after this. Granted preschool is only 2 half days per week, but this is the end of being a full-time stay at home mom. I have worked most of the time that I have been home with my kids, but I no longer have kids that are home full-time after next Thursday. It went too fast…..

Meditation Monday #37 – How to Meditate: The 5 Kleshas

Ugh! What a weekend! I arrived home….to my house….around 4am and got the minimum 3 hours of sleep before my day started as usual. This is one trip that I’m not all that excited to write about. Instead I’ve decided to leave it in the past and move right back into Meditation Monday!

How is meditation going for you these days? Mine is a little strained. I started thinking about how hard meditation can be for some people. For some it’s the sitting still, for others the quiet, for yet others the being alone with their thoughts that gets them. If you read back to the first four posts on How to Meditate you learn a lot about how easy it can be to start small. But, what happens when we’ve been working at it for awhile and we can’t seem to find the answers we’re seeking?

In the last few segments of this series we’ve talked about the Four Aims of Life, but there’s something that can get in the way of understanding and living your path and that is a Klesha. Continue reading “Meditation Monday #37 – How to Meditate: The 5 Kleshas”

Meditation Monday #36 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Moksha)

It’s Monday again and it’s raining. Raining because it’s spring and spring flowers need rain. Raining because it’s April and April showers bring May flowers. Raining because it was very dry and my rain barrels were empty. Raining and spring bring about changes and I have a lot of them to write about…..but I’m saving that for later. Today I want to end our discussion on the Four Aims of Life. Previously I have written about duty, prosperity, and pleasure. Today we’re going to talk about Moksha: Freedom. Continue reading “Meditation Monday #36 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Moksha)”

Meditation Monday #35 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Kama)

It’s Easter Monday….for some of us…..and it’s always bittersweet in my mind. The joy of the holiday still resonates with me: time spent with my children, good food with family and friends, and beautiful weather. However, it’s over and now it’s back to daily life. Today was my son’s first day back from Spring Break and it didn’t go horribly, but not exactly smooth either. I believe the phrase, “I don’t HAVE to go to school” was uttered, but was quickly corrected.

Do you ever have something that you don’t want to do?

Well, that’s kind of our topic for today’s meditation: Kama = Pleasure. Continue reading “Meditation Monday #35 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Kama)”

Meditation Monday #33 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Dharma)

Last week I started back up with the How to Meditate series on the blog. I’m giving you a little insight into the deeper content of Yoga that we cover in my Yoga II course at CFCC. So, for the next four weeks we’ll be talking about Purusharthas or the Four Aims of Life. Some will translate this Sanskrit word to mean the soul’s purpose or the goals of human existence….so we’re going to take them one by one in meditation as they hold so much weight.

How do you have a successful, satisfying, and balanced existence in this world?

Our first signpost on this path to human fulfillment is Aredharma (more commonly referred to as Dharma) or our DUTY in life. This element of our study also refers to our ethics, our truth, and our responsibilities in life. This ties in nicely with our third chakra and our power to choose and to stand up for what we believe in…..but that’s a discussion for another day. Continue reading “Meditation Monday #33 – How to Meditate: The Four Aims of Life (Dharma)”

Seeking a Mentor

Many years ago, when I was working at Elon University, I attempted an MBA. In this program I began a course on communications and part of the course requirements was a project.  The project entailed evaluating one of the business functions of your employer and determining a way to improve upon it. This was a tricky task based on my position within the organization and standing with the other professional staff there. I had an idea in my head based on some liberties I’d taken within the established framework for how to do things, but I knew that revealing this may put my work in greater jeopardy. So, I eventually came to the conclusion that I would be leaving Elon and quit the MBA program and ultimately tabled my ideas.

Later that same year I was accepted to and enrolled in a graduate program at East Carolina University. Throughout my time there I brought my ideas back into play for an Independent Study project. I was even allowed to implement my ideas in a training program that I ran to gather data for my paper. I was able to present my ideas at NIRSA in New Orleans in 2009. However, also during this time and about 2.5 months before the New Orleans trip, I had my first son…..during grad school.

Since this time I have struggled to truly finish the paper. It has once been sent out for review and it was a defeating experience. researchBasically I was told that my “evidence” collected was not good enough to support my ideas. On one hand, I agree because there were many limitations with the “study” we performed. On the other hand, the research behind my work and my idea in general I believe to be a great concept. It’s something that I think about often. I would really like to be able to publish a version of this paper as a proposal for a method that I think should be implemented in one portion of my field. It’s something that I’m still passionate about 5 years later.

The dilemma I face at this time is that my former mentor on this project and I have sort of a failed communication. She is busy with other students and while she has given me a lot of guidance prior to my break from the project, I don’t think she is interested any longer in pursuing the completion of this paper. This is my fault as there were times when I gave her the impression that I feel the same. Now I need new eyes for this project and some new mentorship on the correct placement for this paper and the best way to write it as a proposal piece instead of a researched and tested approach. Maybe I’m just using a lot of big words that don’t fit…..but this was one of my 2016 goals and I’d really like to see it finished….if not this year, sometime in the tangible future.

See, ultimately I’d like to go on to get my PhD, but that’s a dream for another day. I have a distinct idea of what I want to study and pursue in my future research, but I need to get published and I need to finish this project before moving on to the next thing. So, if you’re in a position to mentor someone, if you’re a published author, if you know where I should go from here, or if you even have a faint interest in reading my paper….please let me know. This is part of my plan for year 36 of my life….forward thinking…..something I learned from Tracy’s post over at Fit is a Feminist Issue.

Look Who’s 52! Planning for another year on this planet

Have a great Wednesday….we’re almost over the hump!

Scaling Back

I’ve been away from the blog for yet another week of trying to make decisions and get through the day. I feel this ever looming presence of a need to reflect and take inventory that keeps me from moving forward as I’d like to. So, to combat that heavy feeling, I’ve decided to scale back on a lot of my goals. The best part of this decision is that it makes me feel confident in what I can achieve and not like I’ve hit yet another set back.

This new frame of mind allows me a little more freedom in my life….. Continue reading “Scaling Back”

TOLT: Fitness Gurus

Welcome to another Thursday linked up with Amanda at Running with Spoons! On Tuesday I spent the morning at the Children’s Museum with my boys and while they played I caught up on some reading. I am seriously behind on professional journals and wanted to start clearing out some old issues, but also making sure I didn’t miss anything that I thought was important. I tackled two issues that morning and will be sharing some thoughts on info contained in those over the next week or so. They were from clear back in 2014! This is a problem I’ve written about before in regards to emails and I’m still trying to workout a system between work, working out, writing here, and being a full time stay at home mom that will keep me up to date on these pieces of literature.

Okay, so now that that crazy long paragraph is out of the way, I’d like to touch on a subject that may be a little controversial in the blog society….Fitness Gurus and the inspiration was this IDEA Fitness Journal article by Amanda Vogel titled Cert By Selfie. In true TOLT fashion, here are three things I want to know after reading the article…. Continue reading “TOLT: Fitness Gurus”

That OTHER Time I Didn’t Finish Something

Happy Thursday to All! Three weeks from tomorrow I start back teaching at CFCC and I can’t wait! Summer has been great, but I’m looking forward to meeting new students and serving another purpose (other than lunch maker, playdate scheduler, and shuttle bus) on the regular. I LOVE being at home with my kids, but I also got a Masters degree so that I could use it.

Anyway, today I’m linking up with Amanda at Running With Spoons for another of her infamous TOLT posts. So, check out her site and all of the other great posts you’ll find there today on the link up.

Today I want to really focus on a little sadness I had in my week. It was all about an ending that didn’t happen. Continue reading “That OTHER Time I Didn’t Finish Something”