TOLT: Negative Talk and The Best Mile

Today I am extremely unmotivated to swim….lift….or do my Sun Salutations, but I will at least get in the last of those this afternoon. Some of my lack of motivation is due to lack of partners for these activities. I’m telling you…..I need that accountability, even as a Fitress Professional.

I wrote to my running partner about this same topic last week. I had been sick with a sinus infection in Wednesday and opted not to run with her that day. Thursday I knew I could run indoors, without kids, and probably get in my 3-1 mile repeaters. So, I started them….still a little turned off to the idea of a run because the indoor track is 9 laps per mile.

My first mile was AMAZING! I posted just over 7:16….I think my fastest ever mile in my life was 6:57. My initial reactions were pride and encouragement, but as I did my rest interval  walk….the negative talk set in.

First it was: there’s no way I can go that fast again. So, I just decided to try. And the second mile….7:19. I watched the time each lap and just kept pushing mentally.

Then, walk number two….again the negative thoughts poured in. No way could I even be under 8:00 if I did my third one; I am tired of going around in circles; I don’t want to push so hard I make myself more sick; I don’t really need to do all three…..

That’s when a singularly important thought breezed through my mind. …so quickly that I almost didn’t catch it: T did her three yesterday. That was it! I held on tight to the idea that I’d be letting down my training partner, cheating her out of the equality of our training, if I gave up now.

So, I mustered one more mile….this time counting every half a lap….then every quarter. I couldn’t watch the clock because I feared it would defeat me. Third repeater: 7:50.

It wasn’t as fast, but I finished it.

I am a strong runner….but I’m stronger now than ever because I am learning about what motivates me and how to overcome those negative thoughts by grabbing on to positive ones. It’s 16 days until race day and I’m making every run!

 

How do you stay motivated when the negative or lazy talk settles in?

Do you prefer to workout together or alone?

What’s your fastest mile?

 

Thank you Amanda for the TOLT space!

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TOLT – Habits at Home and Away

I’ve been thinking more and more about my habits and how they’re effected by differing situations. Like how it’s so much easier for me to run when I know that I have a race I’m training for or someone to show up to run with. Location also seems to have an impact on my habits…..but not so much whether I’m at home or away. At first I thought that it was easier for me to give up my “good habits” when I wasn’t at home, but then I realized that location is only part of the equation. What’s the other part? Continue reading “TOLT – Habits at Home and Away”

The Importance of Habits for Obligers

I hope that this Thursday HABITS UPDATE will become a regular thing in my life and for the blog. It’s necessary for me to have a regular posting schedule for my writing and for myself. And currently I’m undertaking the project of improving my habits.

Today I’m also linking up with Amanda at Running With Spoons as I have been doing on and off for the last couple of years. She does this great Think Out Loud Thursday round-up that always gives me new things to read. I’ve found a lot of great new blogs to follow through there and I’ve enjoyed having some of her readers stop by and comment from time to time. It gives me fresh eyes as to what people will click on and read.

But HABITS UPDATES are going to be strictly for me. A post that I need to write each week to keep myself accountable to the changes I am trying to make….serious changes in my fitness and scheduling. Habits are important for Obligers because we have this sense of duty in life….to serve. In yoga we talk about our duty in life as our Dharma and as a yogi, a mother, a wife, a teacher, etc….I serve a lot of other people.

Rubin wrote in Better Than Before (and recently on her blog) about Obliger Rebellion…..when those of us who live to serve reach our limit. This HABITS UPDATE will also make me accountable to myself and giving myself time to do what I want to do so that I don’t reach the point of Obliger Rebellion.

So, how am I doing so far?

Well, this week I’ve been pretty good about checking off things on my to-do list. I am using my planner on the regular and committing to doing the things that I put on there. I am committed to putting things on the list that I want to do as well as things I need to do and not prioritizing needs over wants all of the time. Some of my wants are also needs.

I want to run twice a week with T; but I also need to run to keep my body in good health, clear my mind, and socialize with another adult. I want to read and write on the blog. I want to have a clean house. I want to see my kids have fun at  t-ball. These wants all make me happy and happiness is something I really need in my life.

I also thrive on schedules. I am a planner and a finisher. I love to see things ticked off my list. I’m sure my students appreciate this too because it means that I’m taking care of things they need from me and planning classes that have a purpose. I’m sure that my kids appreciate that I don’t miss their events and that I make time for play dates. I’m sure that my husband appreciates that I have scheduled a time to shop and pay bills so that our house is mostly in order and we’re not always ordering out.

Scheduling is a big thing for me to be successful in my habits….it’s the reason that I’ve already ordered my new planner and have birthdates, anniversaries, and school schedules (through spring) in their….waiting to be used. But my new planner presents a few new challenges to me.

First is that there are only 7 spaces (if I squeeze) on each day. Currently I have 10 spaces for each day and often write double items on lines. This is a habit I want to break and hope that my new planner helps me to finally start saying NO to overbooking and over obligating myself.

The second “problem” is that I have to decide if I’m continuing my Word of the Day as a “daily” thing in this planner. There’s a perfect spot for me to write a word for the week, but not enough space for daily inclusion….it would take up one of my 7 lines. So, I have to decide about this habit. I haven’t been doing it for long enough for it to be noticed as absent in the near future, but by the time I hit January I would have had quite the streak of WOD that it might feel empty without it. One way I can trade off on this is to start doing a weekly word in November….things that I will consider as it comes closer (marathoner).

The thing I’m happiest about at this point with the habits is that I haven’t chosen drastic changes that set myself up for failure. I feel confident in keeping this going and I am looking forward to updating you again next week!

How does scheduling affect your ability to keep a habit?

If; Then

Apparently I didn’t push “Publish” on this post yesterday, so here it is today. What I just sat down to write today will get schedule as a post for tomorrow. Back to regular “almost daily” posting on Monday.

In the latest section of Rubin’s Better Than Before book she talks about a strategy for improving good habits called “If; Then”. We use this same language in yoga, but in a much different way. In yoga we say that IF you feel a certain way in a pose; THEN adjust this way. Rubin’s suggestion is more along the lines of a planned strategy to avoid “failing” at your good habits. So, IF I can’t go outside to run today; THEN I will do a HITT workout instead.

Rubin also talks in this section about planned exceptions to the rule that don’t really break the rule. So, on Tuesday I did my first “weight training” day in a long time. And therefore, I chose (in advance) not to do sun salutations that day. Partly because I wasn’t sure how weight training was going to go and partly because I’m trying to stop putting things on my schedule when I fill each line. There’s no need for two things per line! (or so I’m currently telling myself….it’s not going so well) And partly because I’m not trying to streak with sun salutations, but rather slowly build the habit of doing them until I can complete my goal of 108 consecutive sun salutations. This didn’t make me feel guilty about skipping a day of sun salutations and then, yesterday I did them again right after my run.

Planned exceptions are not the same as spur of the moment exceptions. For example….yesterday I didn’t read in Rubin’s book nor post. This made me feel guilty and behind today. Today I have other things to do, like writing a different post on the material I was supposed to read on Wednesday. I really wish those two items were checked off in my calendar or that I had not put them on there anyway. But…..I started to rationalize this to myself using what Rubin calls a Loophole Excuse.

My word of the day for Wednesday was ENJOY! I spent the day trying to enjoy each thing I did…..including grocery shopping with a 4 year old! I tried to enjoy my run and our playdate at the park, bill paying, and eating. Then it was time to have an afternoon playdate and I enjoyed that too……so much so that I left myself without time to read and write. I was embracing my word of the day….that’s what I told myself…..but really I was making a spur of the moment loophole excuse to ditch something else that also gives me joy. Doing this also made me feel guilty the next day and not as “THANKFUL” (the WOD for Thursday) as I should have been.

Today I am thankful that I have another chance to check off my list. It’s not a fail nor a fall….just a stumble. IF I cannot complete my checklist one day; THEN I will try to pick up the slack the next day. IF I cannot “catch up” on my checklist; THEN I will make peace with what was left undone and move forward from there.One thing that was very painful to read was about Obligers and their ability to come up with loopholes….especially when the habit has no accountability to others. Yep, I’m an Obliger through and through! But, that doesn’t give me permission to use it as an excuse. Rubin comes up with 10 different loopholes that people create and a great deal of them are the excuses for why I haven’t yet applied for the full-time job posting that’s up right now……

How do you feel about unfinished work?

What excuses do you make?

How do those excuses make you feel?

Do you have “IF; THEN” strategies?

Thank you to Amanda for a place to share ideas!

TOLT – 1 Week Until Preschool!

Today is Thursday and I’m not having to get up and go to work for the first time in many weeks. But it also means that it’s the last Thursday, for awhile at least, that I could have slept in…..because next week my baby starts preschool! And, in the words of Peg Plus Cat, I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!

Thank you, in advance, to Amanda for a place to vent my worries.

THINGS I AM WORRIED ABOUT WITH PRESCHOOL 1 WEEK AWAY

  1. The Goodbye – When my first son went to school two years ago, he walked right in and I had to call him back to say good-bye to the little guy and me. This time around it will be the big one and I dropping off the little one on the first day. I’m not quite sure how this will go. Part of me wants him to be hesitant and still need me. Part of me wants him to be brave like his brother and waltz right in like he knows the place.
  2. What to do with Kid #1 – So, on the first day of preschool my oldest son will still be 12 days away from starting school for the year. So, it’s kind of new territory for us. There was just the two of us before the little guy came along, but since then I can’t think of another time in which it’s been just the two of us (unless you count volunteering at his school). So, what will we do with our time together? I HAVE NO CLUE! We have had lots of little moments together, but never 3 whole hours of us time in the last 4 years. I’m thinking I might take him to show him my new work as it’s right across the street. We might go out to breakfast. We might just go crazy….who knows?!
  3. More Friends – Okay, so this really shouldn’t be a worry, but I’ve already found that this summer was harder than any other before to make sure we had at least one play date with each of our friends. Why? Because now we have the friends we made prior to school, the friends from preschool that we’ve held on to, and now kindergarten friends. That doesn’t even account for the friends we’re about to make this year for both kids! I already know one of the families in the preschool class and we like them and have mutual friends, but there’s a reason we throw a large party a few times a year….we don’t have enough time for all of the friends!
  4. No Nanny – Yep, she left us and graduated and moved home and got married and is a grown-up with a full-time job now. The last two years have been a breeze because of our nanny and I can tell you it was the best experience we’ve ever had in childcare. So great, in fact, that I can’t seem to find anyone who lives up to her! And now we’re going to try and do it all on our own without her or anyone else. Already I’m dreading it. What will happen when one of the kids gets sick? Who will be there to help out in emergencies? What about when I need someone to set out something to defrost during the day? Who will eat all of the leftovers?! Really, our nanny was like a part of our family and we miss her dearly!
  5. The End – There will be no more kids at home after this. Granted preschool is only 2 half days per week, but this is the end of being a full-time stay at home mom. I have worked most of the time that I have been home with my kids, but I no longer have kids that are home full-time after next Thursday. It went too fast…..

TOLT – Blogiversary

I’ve actually been writing the One Girl Breathing blog since January 2, 2014. I was inspired to start a blog by my need to do something and reading Jenny at The Bloggess and Kristen’s Iowa Girl Eats blog. I then started reading other food blogs and found out that I could start my own fitness blog for free with Blogger. After that I transitioned to hosting my own site, because I read that that’s what all good bloggers did. I did it for a year, trying to take myself and the blog world a little more seriously.

What I learned through that experience (and from all of the other blogs that I used to read but whom many of them quit writing) was that blogging is a space for shared interest. I, a natural teacher, like to share what I know and what I learn about yoga, fitness, etc. I am on a journey (as we all are) through life and I like to share that with others in the hope that they too will share back. I have 14 followers between WordPress and Email. I’m proud of that small following and imagine that each one of you reads along feeling included in the story.

I came to WordPress last year on this date when I decided to give up spending the money on a blog and to just keep writing for the sake of writing. I’m terrible at keeping to a schedule and, like Lloyd Dobler:

So, today is the 1 year Blogiversary of the official OneGirlBreathing.wordpress.com site. All natural, never artificial and one breath at a time….Thanks for being here!

I’d love for you to share your blog stories today. How did you become a blogger? How long have you been at it? What kinds of blogs do you read?

If you’re one of the OGB followers, what brought you here? What is your story?

And a special THANK YOU to Amanda for hosting one of my favorite blogs and link-ups!

Unsubscribing

I think I’ve finally solved my email issue….I’ve learned to hit unsubscribe. Just this morning…Highlights magazine….unsubscribe. This afternoon….Inside Hook Nation…unsubscribe……some random realtor….unsubscribe. It’s something I’m considering in regards to blogs as well. I have a few that show up in my reader that I just keep scrolling past. Why? Because I never get responses to my comments or their content seems to be going in a direction that no longer interests me.

Jen at Chase the Red Grape had a great post last week that prompted me to want to hit delete on a few blogs that I follow. I think that writing a blog means that you’re opening your ideas up for discussion. At least that’s the type of community I have always wanted to create with this blog….the kind where all voices (minus spammers) are welcome to share their opinion….even if it doesn’t jive with mine.

So, I’m cutting back on the amount of emails I will have to sort through (no more just delete….now unsubscribe). I am cutting back on the blogs that I will be reading (because I want to find more people to add to my tribe). And I”m doing one more thing……recycling magazines! I read a short story on NBC News this morning about Iowan author Trent Hamm and his take on making your hobbies not drown you financially. I’m down to one magazine that I get once every two months, but I also get quite a few “newsletters” in my inbox. All of these are encouraging me to spend and I don’t need to at this time.

I don’t need to spend my time, my energy, or my money at this time. I need to make more time for things that make me feel accomplished and seeing 400+ unread emails does exactly the opposite of that.

What do you need to unsubscribe to?

Thanks to Amanda for the space to ramble today!

13 Years of Yoga – My Life Changing Moment

Last year in April I set out to write about my yoga journey. I intend to keep updating that each year and as of now I have been doing yoga, off and on, for 13 years. It doesn’t mean that I have been living my yoga throughout that whole time, but living yoga is a process, just like much of life.

I intended last week to publish a Currently post, a Workout Wednesday post, and then end on Thursday with my 13 Years of Yoga post. But, something happened on that Tuesday afternoon that changed my life. I was in a car accident that totaled my car.

I was driving to pick up my oldest from Kindergarten, with my youngest in the back seat, when my brakes failed. I do not know how fast the car was traveling when it stopped, but before I turned off the cruise control we were traveling at 55mph. We slammed into the back of a stopped car and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

For the last week and a half I have seen the back of that car flying at me every time I close my eyes. I watch the airbags come up so quickly, yet so slowly. I feel it hit me in the face and toss me around. I feel the air knocked out of me and the panic take over as I jump out of the car trying to figure out what to do next; as I pull my youngest out of the back seat and rush him to the side of the road away from it all. I still see and feel it all.

I had to get into a car to drive the very next day and it’s been hard and slow going since. I feel distracted by paying attention to my full surroundings. It’s one time that I wish my mindfulness would let me be and let me relax. No one was seriously hurt in this accident, but it still changed me in a profound way.

My yoga practice over the last year has helped me grow in so many ways. I am better at listening to my body; I am performing poses better and with more strength, stability, and focus; my meditation is deeper and more purposeful with better outcomes. My yoga this year has been enhanced by the depth of connection to my students (especially my Yoga II group this spring) and the other community of yogis that I have connected with this past year.

In 13 years of yoga this has been my best and most committed. Through writing on the blog and reading Bad Yogi and other blogs where people share their yoga journeys; through my practice with Meditations from the Mat and teaching more of the tenets of yoga; through the curriculum writing for NETA’s new 200hr RYT and through listening to my students as they too travel the yoga path…..this year has been a yoga blessing in disguise.

It has been this connection that has led me through my best year of yoga and at the end of June I will be leaving my teaching for the City of Wilmington due to a change in structure at the organization. In August I will teach my last yoga class for CFCC for awhile as I move on to a new venture at UNCW (more about that later). My yoga practice will change this year….year 14….but I know it will stay strong. My accident affirmed for me what I know about myself:

I am stronger than what happens to me in life. I am only one, but an important part, of all that is bigger in the world. My yoga has served me well and will continue to be a guiding factor in my life.

Thank you for continuing this adventure with me and Thank You to Amanda for an open space to share each week! For the next 4 weeks I’ll be sharing some of my Yoga II student’s journeys on Thursday posts. I hope you’ll join us in practice & life.

Namaste

Currently….Waiting – April 2017

Do you remember the Dr. Seuss book that everyone quotes at high school graduation?

The Waiting Place

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,
or a plane to go or the mail to come,
or the rain to go or the phone to ring,
or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

Excerpt from Oh,The Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss

Well, currently I am in a waiting place. Today I am waiting

  • for contacts
  • to get paid
  • to get my blood work results back
  • for the rain to stop
  • for food to grow in my garden
  • for registration to open for the race I want to do
  • to have enough money to register for a yoga workshop I want to attend
  • for the motivation to finish some writing projects
  • to get some email responses
  • for donuts on the beach this Saturday

You know, just waiting. April feels like it’s going to fly by due to the large number of things I have scheduled for us, but today it feels slow. Today it feels unfinished and lethargic.

What are you waiting for?

Thank you to Amanda for allowing me a place to let my mind wander! You should wander over and see what she’s up to and maybe order her new cookbook….

TOLT – What is your Tendency?

Hello Thursday and THANK YOU to Amanda for hosting another TOLT! If you’ve been reading the blog the last two weeks you already know about MY BEST BODY Happiness Project. In my reading of Gretchen Rubin’s book I came across mention of the Happiness Toolbox and so, intrigued, I attempted to visit the site. The book is a few years old, so the site had changed and kind of been dismantled. However, Rubin is publishing a new book called The Four Tendencies and recently posted about it here:

She offers a link to her quiz to tell you which of the four tendencies you fall into. I took the quiz and found that I am an OBLIGER: Meets outer expectations/Resists inner expectations. as-you-wishBasically, I’m really good at following the rules, but find it hard to do things that benefit myself. I’m better at taking care of others than myself. This is evidenced in my resolutions I’ve made over the years. Often when it’s something centered on benefiting me (either primarily or only) I put it to the back burner and focus on the things that benefit the whole. In some ways this is very “YOGA” of me, but the words of a long ago Dr. Phil episode still linger in my ears You can’t fill other people’s tanks if yours is empty. (or something of that nature)
One of the keys to success offered up by the quiz is to have external accountability in achieving a change. Wow! That’s definitely something I need. I’ve blogged before about walking with friends and the sadness that I have from lack of a true workout partner. Just Tuesday my friend mentioned the women that she runs with on Saturday mornings. However, she’s across town and I am often gone on the weekends. I am going to have to take time to ponder how to create a sufficient support network on this journey and to remember that I want this for me and that’s okay.
What is your Tendency? Do you think your results are an accurate representation of your tendencies in making decisions?