How do you balance give and take in your life?
I have been doing a lot of meditation on self-love lately and realizing that some of that talk is very one sided. It asks you to give to yourself and not so much to others. But it doesn’t focus on allowing yourself to take from others so much.
I was reading on The Wellness Inventory today in the self-love study center and came across the Statement Commentary called It is OK for me to be out-of-balance, vulnerable, or in need.
I have used this one in the past to write this post: Wellness Wednesday #2 – I Am A Glorious Series of Contradictions
I Am A Glorious Series of Contradictions
For me, Self Love and Responsibility have been about knowing that it’s okay to be out of balance from time to time; to share that experience with others being vulnerable and in need. It’s been about increasing that interdependence and asking for help from time to time. It’s about accepting life without expectation of outcome and accepting the outcome of my decisions when they reveal themselves. It’s about learning that giving only to others doesn’t fulfill all that I need, but it does complete me.
I am making more time for self-care as I and my children get older. I do it through physical activity, meditation, getting more sleep, journaling, making time to read more, and trying to make sure the world I surround myself with fits my model of self love. I am trying to learn more about how to be accountable and accepting of my choices as well as how to learn from the ones that didn’t serve me. I am growing more assertive and responsible for my ultimate outcome in life. And I’m trying to be more kind to myself by letting go of some outcomes.
Today I also saw this quote on a blog that I follow:
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving
to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief
that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect,
we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame,
judgement, and shame. It’s a shield.
I am having the kind of day in which I wish I were supported by others. I wish that my self-love was more like others loving me and holding me up. I need to feel loved for who I am today by more than just myself. I am facing difficult challenges and today, the give and take doesn’t feel like I have received enough. Today I want to take. Today I want to take someone’s hand/shoulder/support and lean in to it. I want to feel held and seen and like it’s okay to be me and that I don’t have to do life alone.
I am strong most days, today is just not one of those day.
Can you ask for love when you need it?
Today as I was journaling for my wellness I read the following:
You don’t just get well or stay well. There are many degrees or levels of wellness, just as there are degrees of illness.
So, I wondered, Am I Well?
Continue reading “Wellness Wednesday #21 – Am I Well?”
This past week has been a little bit better in the checking off things department. However, yesterday I didn’t get a chance to do a Wellness Wednesday post because my Wellness Inventory account was closed for most of the day. I was able to do a little work on myself there today, but I didn’t want to post late.
Instead, I opted to post today about a meditation/podcast I did this week. I used my Insight Timer app to finally listen to a podcast about self-love. It started out in a way that reminded me so much of SNL’s Delicious Dish segments that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to take it seriously. I decided to listen to the podcast while I did my yoga practice since I felt it wasn’t the same as a meditation. This had both positives (two birds with one stone) and negatives (my kids often talk through my physical practice and it was sometimes hard to focus on both the posture/breath work and their discussion).
I really don’t know how people listen to podcasts while they drive!
But, I just wanted to share one thought from the podcast with you today:
You are searching for what you’re searching with.
I am sure that this will mean something different to each of you, so I encourage you to share how that phrase resonates with you…..
Last week I intended to start my work on my summer courses….but the set up wasn’t ready for me to start yet. Then the rain set in.
It rained for DAYS! And that, plus hormonal things, put me in such a funk that when it was time to start work……I couldn’t.
So, for the last two days I have been absorbed by setting things up. I have ignored my kids. I haven’t cleaned a single room in my house. And my yoga and meditation have been thrown out the window.
I didn’t do any wellness work yesterday (or this week) even though it’s what I need the most right now. My life is out of whack and I am taking it back in this very moment.
- I blogged. I needed to.
- I am about to go for a walk with my kids. We need that too.
- Then I am going to come home and clean up a little so that I can get my space in order to do Pilates and Yoga and Meditation.
- Then I will cook dinner and take a shower and start over tomorrow.
Balance has not been on my side. As the planner list grew the checks got fewer. It’s been a rough week, but the rain is gone and things are looking up!
Do you ever feel like you immerse yourself too far into one thing?
When I am experiencing pain and dis-ease, I use it as an opportunity to re-evaluate my lifestyle and my environment.
This was one of the statements in a section of the Wellness Inventory I was exploring today. I really like how the word disease is broken up to mean something similar, but different.
Continue reading “Wellness Wednesday #20 – Dis-Ease”
Last week I shared my Wellness Vision for Self Love and Responsibility. This week I want to give you some key updates on my progress as well as tell you a few things I have learned about through meditation and my work on trying to better this dimension of wellness. I really hope that you’ll consider giving yourself the gift of self love and responsibility this week.
Continue reading “Wellness Wednesday #19 – The Seeds of Self Love and Responsibility”
Last week I decided to focus on the area of Self Responsibility and Love in order to make sure that MY wellness is a priority. I did this because I felt I have been making bad choices and allowing others’ judgements of me to influence my decision making process. I decided that I needed to be a priority in my own life.
Every semester, when teaching about wellness, I ask my students to first come up with a Wellness Vision for the semester. What would it look like for them to have a well and whole semester? I usually try to give them an example of what it would mean to me…..
Continue reading “Wellness Wednesday #18 – Wellness Vision: Self Love and Responsibility”
For the past week I have been debating on which area of focus to start with for this new attempt to really get my wellness in check. You can read about that here:
Wellness Wednesday #16 – Calling for a Redo
Well, I think I am going to stick with my original plan and focus on the area of Self Responsibility and Love in order to make sure that MY wellness is a priority.
Continue reading “Wellness Wednesday #17 – Step Two”