I have been meditating almost daily this year thanks to the Mindful Mornings Meditation Challenge on InsightTimer that I did in January. It’s over now, but I have been continuing to get up and have meditation as my first real act of the day. This past week I started using the Daily Insight feature, but found the FREE 5 minute option to be both useful and too short. So, this morning I started just scrolling through the suggestions on the main page and looking at what was in the time range I wanted to be in. I came across this meditation podcast:
I loved the idea of looking at fear from two perspectives:
- Fear of Failure – which I am sure we are all very familiar with
- Fear of Success – which is probably a lot less common
I am kind of glad that this podcast didn’t touch on FOMO because I’m kind of over FOMO at the moment as my puppy’s separation anxiety is just blown up FOMO.
Earlier this week I had a revelation about myself and relationships. I realized that I was not practicing yoga in my relationships. Aparigraha is about not hoarding or not holding on to things that don’t still belong to you or the you you are now. I realized that I was still holding out hope for a reconciliation of a relationship because I wanted what it had given me at one time. But, I am not that person any more and I don’t want to be that person, so I don’t really want that relationship.
As soon as I had that enlightening moment I was able to let go of the fear that I would never have that again and instead found that within myself. The thing I was missing? Honesty. Honesty about who I am and allowing myself to live that truth. Maybe I also had a fear of succeeding on my own? I will never know because I recognize that I am succeeding at giving myself what I need. I am allowing me to be me and to grow. I was able to let go of some fear this week.
What fear are you still living with?
How do you balance give and take in your life?
I have been doing a lot of meditation on self-love lately and realizing that some of that talk is very one sided. It asks you to give to yourself and not so much to others. But it doesn’t focus on allowing yourself to take from others so much.
I was reading on The Wellness Inventory today in the self-love study center and came across the Statement Commentary called It is OK for me to be out-of-balance, vulnerable, or in need.
I have used this one in the past to write this post: Wellness Wednesday #2 – I Am A Glorious Series of Contradictions
I Am A Glorious Series of Contradictions
For me, Self Love and Responsibility have been about knowing that it’s okay to be out of balance from time to time; to share that experience with others being vulnerable and in need. It’s been about increasing that interdependence and asking for help from time to time. It’s about accepting life without expectation of outcome and accepting the outcome of my decisions when they reveal themselves. It’s about learning that giving only to others doesn’t fulfill all that I need, but it does complete me.
I am making more time for self-care as I and my children get older. I do it through physical activity, meditation, getting more sleep, journaling, making time to read more, and trying to make sure the world I surround myself with fits my model of self love. I am trying to learn more about how to be accountable and accepting of my choices as well as how to learn from the ones that didn’t serve me. I am growing more assertive and responsible for my ultimate outcome in life. And I’m trying to be more kind to myself by letting go of some outcomes.
Today I also saw this quote on a blog that I follow:
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving
to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief
that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect,
we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame,
judgement, and shame. It’s a shield.
I am having the kind of day in which I wish I were supported by others. I wish that my self-love was more like others loving me and holding me up. I need to feel loved for who I am today by more than just myself. I am facing difficult challenges and today, the give and take doesn’t feel like I have received enough. Today I want to take. Today I want to take someone’s hand/shoulder/support and lean in to it. I want to feel held and seen and like it’s okay to be me and that I don’t have to do life alone.
I am strong most days, today is just not one of those day.
Can you ask for love when you need it?
Do you know what I love about Mondays? Everything. It’s a new start of the week, it’s a fresh page in my planner, it’s back to things as usual.
Today I woke up late because I had left my phone upstairs, not plugged in, and I never heard my alarm. I missed doing yoga and mediation before others got up. I slept in 2 extra hours!
Most people would be going crazy if this happened to them. Not me, it’s Monday. Whenever I start my Monday it’s a fresh start…..
So far today I have caught up on housecleaning, finished my planned work for the day, and it’s only 2:15pm. Two hours were not lost, they were just used for something else.
Monday is a chance to restart your outlook on everything. Forget the first of the month or the first of the year or the first day of school/work……let’s try starting fresh on Mondays.
When do you wipe your slate clean?
This past week has been a little bit better in the checking off things department. However, yesterday I didn’t get a chance to do a Wellness Wednesday post because my Wellness Inventory account was closed for most of the day. I was able to do a little work on myself there today, but I didn’t want to post late.
Instead, I opted to post today about a meditation/podcast I did this week. I used my Insight Timer app to finally listen to a podcast about self-love. It started out in a way that reminded me so much of SNL’s Delicious Dish segments that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to take it seriously. I decided to listen to the podcast while I did my yoga practice since I felt it wasn’t the same as a meditation. This had both positives (two birds with one stone) and negatives (my kids often talk through my physical practice and it was sometimes hard to focus on both the posture/breath work and their discussion).
I really don’t know how people listen to podcasts while they drive!
But, I just wanted to share one thought from the podcast with you today:
You are searching for what you’re searching with.
I am sure that this will mean something different to each of you, so I encourage you to share how that phrase resonates with you…..
I am using the Insight Timer app (and no, I’m not sponsored by them….I don’t even have a paid account) and my practice this last two weeks has been really sporadic. Why? Because I think I’m a little ashamed that I meditate.
Continue reading “Meditation Monday #57 – Do you SHARE about your meditation practice?”
I’ve been going strong on meditation now for the past couple of weeks. I am using the Insight Timer app (and no, I’m not sponsored by them….I don’t even have a paid account) and have now worked my way fully through the Self-Esteem section for Beginners. But, when I meditate, I break the rules a little……
Continue reading “Meditation Monday #56 – How to Meditate – Body Position”
Over sixteen years ago I started doing yoga for real…..well, sort of. In May of 2004 I was asked to teach my first yoga class as part of an internship for my degree program. It took me many more years to get to where I am today…. Continue reading “16 Years of Yoga – On A Roll”
Last week I wrote about a meditation practice I had where the light would not stay still. Since that time I have downloaded the Insight Timer app and have started to use their meditations for Self Love since that’s the area I am focusing on. Recently I was doing a meditation called Get Your Glow On and had a very strange experience. Continue reading “Smoke Filled Glow”